August 24, 2014
Good morning, my dear! We're just getting ready to go to church to hear Dillion Gulbransen and Randy Bauer speak in Sacrament Meeting before they leave for their missions! Randy leaves on Wednesday and Dillion leaves on the 5th. Braden Tomlinson is not far behind - I think he speaks in two weeks. Anyway, pretty exciting stuff. It will be a great (and packed) meeting today, I think. I will probably send another short letter with some stuff that they talked about... probably. Actually, I might just pause this letter and add it in at the end. We shall see what time does for us.
There have been a lot of changes this week - alot of ebb and flow. For one thing, it has been raining CATS AND DOGS all week, for the past two weeks, actually. We have set records this month for the amount of moisture we've received. It's great news for aquifers, but horrible for grain farmers. Alot of the grain has begun to sprout on the stalk which means it is no longer able to be sold to Anheiser Busch for malt barley - at best it can be sold as feed grain at a huge loss. Anheiser-Busch estimates a $50 million loss in barley this year due to rain. So beer prices will go up (yeah, cry me a river), but bread prices will probably go up, too... I'm super grateful for the wheat storage that we have and the wheat grinder and the ability to make our own bread as needed! Food storage is for huge catastrophes as well as minor catastrophes like this. We are feeling more and more compelled to update our food storage. The state of the world these days.... Anyway, so that has made things quite interesting for us. It feels more like April than August!
Another change is that Katie and Jake officially moved to Idaho this week. They are staying with Grandma & Grandpa Price until they find a house of their own. They are looking at a couple of homes in Shelley. They went to an Elder's Quorum party with us on Thursday, the day that got here, and Dan Greenhaul invited Katie to apply at his office as a dental assistant because he just found out that he will have an opening, so that it awesome. Jake is still looking around, I think. I'm not 100% what his plans are at this point. They are great. We will love having them as neighbors for the next few weeks. Also, Sean and Tammy will be moving into Jake and MIndy Searle's house (across from Melaleuca) on September 4th. It's official! They will be our neighbors. :)
Julissa Fielding is getting married (you may have already heard that from Lexa)! That is super exciting. In the pictures I sent this week, I included the fortune from a fortune cookie that Dad got (we went out for Chinese for Dad's birthday) after dinner, and it's kind of funny to think about that because Heidi, in Tennessee, has been dating this feller named Tyler, an RM, and they seem to like each other alot. Aunt Cindy said they are together every day. He will be leaving Knoxville in a couple of weeks to return to BYU-Idaho... but then Heidi will be going to BYU-I in January... we shall see... we shall see.... will the fortune cookie prove fortuitous?
Aunt Cindy and Uncle Nate will have a big change this week when little "Spike" Peterson makes his debut. They have several names picked out and will see which one fits when he gets here, but I continue to call him Spike for some weird reason. Grandma Price is flying out Tuesday morning, which is Cindy's due date, and if Spike doesn't arrive before they will induce labor on Thursday. So the last grandchild should be born this week. This is the last baby for the Petersons. It's all great-grandchildren for Grandma & Grandpa after this!
So, yeah. Lots of changes. Dad may be working almost exclusively out at the site from here on out, and he may even make a job change in the next couple of months that would put him out at the simulator at the site permanently. So we are looking to change our routines and schedules so that we can have family prayer and scripture study with Dad. No more ultimate frisbee for Dad, sadly. School is a change for me, too. This week has been a little weird because I've gone to school expecting it to be like last year - stressed out with every spare moment used to prepare for the next class. Last year, with so many demands, I was never ahead, always behind or just an inch or two ahead at best. So it has been a strange feeling when I've had lessons prepared days in advance. It's a new way of thinking and I'm not used to it yet. I still feel that panic, that "fight or flight" rush of "What do I need to have ready for the next class?!?" and then I think, "Oh. I'm already ready. I prepared today's lesson yesterday. Hmmmmm.... what will I do with this time, now?" The great thing is that I've been able to spend some time preparing for the plays and doing things that I would've had to do on my own time at home or staying late at school. So it is going to take some getting used to, but I'm sure I will adjust just fine! hahaha I think this may turn out to be a better year. I've been tempted to feel like a failure for not being able to "cut the mustard" with 6 preps, but then I think, "What the heck? Who would do that to someone, let alone a second year teacher?!?" So I feel that now I am carrying a normal load, and things will be alright. That feeling of being a wimp because I wasn't super woman is fading fast in the wake of the feeling of inner peace at the end of each day! hahaha But we're about to add more to our lives: melodrama auditions & rehearsals are this week, and Meg's soccer games begin this week, too. It's a busy season of our lives, but it is good. We're grateful for the good things that we have to enjoy and occupy our time (keep us out of too much trouble).
OK... Back from church. Randy and Dillon did and excellent job speaking today. Truly. It was so great - a great meeting. Dillon is humble and honest. He doesn't have a lot of flair or charisma when he talks, but he bore such a true and pure testimony that it was hard to keep my eyes from welling with tears. Randy, who is all kinds of charisma, gave a wonderful talk. I leaned over part way through his talk and asked Dad, "Is this the same kid who got bored in rehearsal and laid down like a zombie, rolled around, and caused a rucus?" He spoke so powerfully and from the heart. It was great. The chapel was FILLED and the gym was full to the stage, in fact there were people standing in the back. Jessika Gulbransen got married yesterday so there were TONS of Gulbransen family members there in addition to lots of friends (and their families) to hear both Randy and Dillon. But it was great meeting. They will be excellent missionaries.
Well, we are heading out to eat dinner with Grandma Dixon. She asked us to come out yesterday afternoon and then two hours later Grandma Price asked us to come over to her house for dinner, so she wasn't too thrilled to hear we had other plans. So we're coming back early to have brownies for Dad's birthday and Grandpa's birthday (he turns 75 on Friday). Who said Sundays were a day of rest? hahahaha It's all good things. We're grateful to have family close and to be close to our families. The difficulties of being invited/required at different events is a much easier burden than hating family and fighting with them or avoiding them altogether, yeah?
Last words: I've been thinking about your comments last week about giving Elder Jimenez what he needs rather than what he wants. First of all, I think you were so inspired by a loving Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit to make that connection. I hope it has been a better week for you both. Also, your inspiration has made me reflect alot on my own parenting with your dear brother, Sam. Dad and I have talked several times, reflecting and trying to check ourselves - are we giving him what he wants (because we love him and, let's face it, it's easier) or are we giving him what he needs? We're still working to figure that out, exactly, but I need you to know how your experience has helped us as well. I am continually amazed and grateful to a loving Father in Heaven for bringing people into my life - you four fabulous children, specifically - who teach me as much or more than I teach them (you)! Thank you for being who you are. You are a wonderful person, dear Henry. I know that this experience, serving in Chile, will have changed you - you won't be exactly the same person you were two years before, but then again that is the idea, right? We have changed as well, hopefully for the better, and so it will be wonderful to get to know you for the person you are becoming when you return next year. I look forward to that time.
You are well loved, my dear.
Love from Mom
August 18, 2014
I've been thinking about you so much this week. I think, in part, it is because we're on the downhill side of your mission. (By the way, Grandma Dixon sent some money for you to celebrate your "hump day." It will be in your account this afternoon.) I'm really looking forward to seeing you again in the flesh. A lot. I know it will only be for a short time because you'll be heading down to BYU, but I will enjoy being in the same continent with you again. Sorry to be sentimental, especially if it makes you uncomfortable, but I am just missing you. I'm allowed - I'm the mom. hahaha ANOTHER reason why I think I've been thinking about you is because I see so much of you in Meg. You two are similar in many many ways. One less than fabulous way is evidenced in this story: Yesterday, I was sitting by Meg in sacrament meeting and she was a little goofy. She could NOT be still. So I tried to put my arm, which was around her shoulders, around her head to cover her mouth, but I ended up covering her eye... only one eye. Well, she got the giggles and then I got the giggles and it turned into one of those moments when I couldn't stop laughing and I had tears rolling down my face and we were on the third row and the speaker (a high councilman) must've thought we were the most disrespectful people in the room! It was so embarrassing! YOU used to do that to me in Sacrament Meeting... ON PURPOSE! Gah! So, now I have to watch myself more diligently around your sister. That girl....
The centennial pageant was pretty great. It turned out really well, largely because Heavenly Father was at the head guiding and directing things. We did it at the Virginia Theater because that is where they used to hold stake conferences until they built the tabernacle, which burned down in 1974. I have so much information about the Shelley stake, dates and events, in my head these days! hahaha 
I didn't have time to upload my pictures yesterday, but I will get some onto One Drive for next week. :) The stake turned 100 years old, officially, on Saturday the 16th. They had a huge breakfast for the entire community and then displays and music and a short program and such at the City Park that morning. Sadly, we weren't able to go because at 4am Dad woke me up because he couldn't breathe!
He had a hot spot on his uvula and it had swollen to the point that he couldn't speak without gagging and was struggling to breath, so we went to the ER. They gave him steroids and an epinephrine shot, which finally calmed things down. Needless to say, by the time we got home, we went back to bed and missed the morning events. I hope we can find out what is the source of those hot spots, whether they are allergies or not. They seem so random. Perhaps we need to do better at documenting what Dad eats, drinks, and does throughout the day so we can identify any patterns. So strange!
Well, my dearest, I am going to sign off. My plan was to get up early - I usually don't sleep past when Dad leaves to catch the bus at 5:40 - and write a letter this morning before school, upload photos, etc. BUT I was pretty wiped out last night after such a long and taxing week, so I slept until my alarm at 6:30... didn't even hear Dad leave. So, now I'm having to write and abbreviated letter without pictures during prep hour. But it's all good. I am 90% prepped for classes today anyway. THAT is a great feeling, actually, to know that my preparations are for 2/3 of my classes instead of having to do prep for every class with every spare minute. It might just be a better year! Time will tell - I'm trying to keep my expectations reasonable!
YOU I LOVE! The Lord will continue to be with you. He loves you so, so much.
Love from Mom
August 11, 2014
I woke up this morning and was, as usual, a little disoriented... had to think for a second... "What day is it? Oh yeah, it's Sunday... that means tomorrow is Monday!" First of all, how sad is that that I didn't just embrace the Sabbath day. Secondly, how typical that all of the anxiety about the beginning of school would errupt like a volcano! hahaha So, I woke up feeling all kinds of anxious and panicked about this week: first week of school, new room, new students, AND the final week of the centennial pageant - dress rehearsals and performance. There are times when life becomes a "perfect storm," when everything seems to converge on the same week... this is one of those weeks. Ah well, it will compel us to trust the Lord since I am still trusting in my own strength far too much... "cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh or maketh flesh his arm."
And now it is Monday. It is here. I'm at school. We just finished our district employee meeting and it is a work day until 1:30. Perfect time to write to you before I get all kinds of involved in school stuff. :) So, I'm feeling better today. It's here - the day has begun, school has begun and so it's just what it is. We move forward. Meg is outside on the soccer pitch right now at soccer tryouts. Janie is anxiously planning her outfit for Thursday and trying to watch as much Netflix as she can get away with today - suck in all the laziness and idleness possible before school starts in earnest! hahahaha Sam is doing his thing, which now involves applying for Supplemental Security Insurance and/or Social Security Disability Insurance. Because of his mental illness, he can receive help from the government because he cannot currently work more than part time... and we are wondering if he will be able to work at all. The stress of working at Wendy's was like gasoline to his psychosis and he began hallucinating more and being more paranoid as a result, so he is afraid to try again somewhere else. Understandable. Frustrating, but understandable. So he is going to apply for disability at the suggestion of his therapist. He is hoping that if he can get enough money he can move out within the next year. Not sure how I feel about that, to be honest. On the one hand I think, "Go, go! Go and see that you've been living a pretty sweet life at home. Maybe you'll appreciate what you've had a little more! Maybe you'll see that living the gospel brings a hope that you can't find anywhere else. Maybe you'll realize that you are not the center of the universe."
On the other hand I think, "Don't go! You are not stable and you don't take care of yourself - will you ever shower? eat properly? wash your clothes? clean your apartment? Will you slip even farther from our Father in Heaven? Will your morals decay even more? Will you begin to self-medicate? Can you survive on your own?" So that's scary a little. But Dad and I feel that we need to move forward, to let Sam move forward and trust him if we can. Jinkies.
OK, so about those pictures in One Drive, the Last Days of Summer 2014 folder... Meg chopped her hair off! She has this long, gorgeous hair, but has hated it, really, because she doesn't know what to do with it: braids, buns, clips, curls, etc. She doesn't want to be bothered with the hassle of doing her hair each day, so she throws it into a ponytail, which is ok, but kind of a waste. 
I suggested maybe cutting it a little shorter, like shoulder length, where it might be easier to deal with, not as hot during soccer, and it wouldn't get in the way as much. Well, Meg took that idea and ran with it, and, as you can see, she decided to chop her hair all the way off! It looks really great on her, totally frames those beautiful brown eyes, and it is super easy for her to do. So she is happy. She is going to donate her ponytail to Wigs for Kids - 15 inches of hair!
Other pictures that you will see are some crazy fashions at TJ Maxx.
We had a "Yes Day" last week, sort of an end of the year bash. We saw two movies and went out for lunch & dinner, BUT with the spare time inbetween, we went to TJ Maxx and picked out clothes for each other. Everyone had to pick out a top, bottom, shoes, and accessory for everyone else. So, as an example, I picked out the top(s) for Janie, the pants for Meg, the shoes for Sam, and the hat for Dad. Then we took turns putting on the combined outfits. As you can see, it was pretty crazy. We had a good time, and the store clerks didn't even get mad at us! hahaha
The last picture is of the new front door. This is our final bit of the front porch project for this year. We still need to paint it, but it's really nice! You don't even see daylight all around the door like we did on our other door! hahahaha
We had a "Yes Day" last week, sort of an end of the year bash. We saw two movies and went out for lunch & dinner, BUT with the spare time inbetween, we went to TJ Maxx and picked out clothes for each other. Everyone had to pick out a top, bottom, shoes, and accessory for everyone else. So, as an example, I picked out the top(s) for Janie, the pants for Meg, the shoes for Sam, and the hat for Dad. Then we took turns putting on the combined outfits. As you can see, it was pretty crazy. We had a good time, and the store clerks didn't even get mad at us! hahaha The last picture is of the new front door. This is our final bit of the front porch project for this year. We still need to paint it, but it's really nice! You don't even see daylight all around the door like we did on our other door! hahahaha
In news around the town, Anna Williams reported her mission yesterday. She did a great job. She used to be so hard-nosed, so opinionated and unrelenting, but she has softened and has come to just really love people. She had some great stories to share, that were really inspiring and touching. She is such a lovely person! I have a secret hope that she will start dating Van Stonehocker - you're the only one who knows my secret hope! hahahaha In sad news, Jill Wray had to retire from teaching. Cancer came back with a vengance and it has spread all over. She is determined to beat it, and I hope she can! But it is taking quite a toll. Let's see.... Tauni Ackerman is home, too, but I have seen her yet... I think I already told you that last week. Hmmmmm I guess that is it for news around the town! Oh, the Andrews family has been called to attend the Spanish branch, so they are no longer in our ward. You never know where or how you'll be called to serve, right?
OK. I have to go. I think you're going to be online soon and I want to make sure you have this to read before Elder Jimenez is ready to leave. We've been praying for you, my dear. I hope you haven't had to ride the roller coaster too much this week. If you had to ride anything, I hope it was more like a ferris wheel - just ups and downs, not the swift jerks to the left or right in addition to up, down, and all around! I have confidence in you, and I trust you. I know that you trust God, and so He, who knows all, can guide you best.
You I love!
Mom
youre all fantastic! and youre all crazy! hahahaha. wow... there went megs hair... but she does look good with the short look as well. i miss you tons! love you all to death. hopefully sam waits to ove out until July of 2015, that would be my wish.. but its his life. aint nothin i can do. your out fits are totes fabs ;)
youre all fantastic! and youre all crazy! hahahaha. wow... there went megs hair... but she does look good with the short look as well. i miss you tons! love you all to death. hopefully sam waits to ove out until July of 2015, that would be my wish.. but its his life. aint nothin i can do. your out fits are totes fabs ;)
About the friendship not lasting in the same way - I mean if she becomes BFFs with some other guy, marries him, then your friendship cannot last in the same way that it has for the past however many years. That's what that means. Also, based on your letter this week, which I really loved, I can see that you ARE already doing most of what I suggested! You are being a good friend to him, which he recognizes. Continue to trust in the Lord. He will guide you perfectly. LOVE YOU!
ok! i gotcha! thanks for that. now! im gonna ty to respond a little better to that email.
About the car.... all i can do is laugh hahahaha........ also, just alittle funny, if you remmeber the week before when you were talking about how you were gonna wait on the deck thing to not go into debt... next week.. mini cooper :) i love you guys a lot. i hope you enjoy it! 93 mini cooper... now, the bigger cuesiton... who drives what?
Im glad you and meg have been able to figure things out in that aspect... i know school clothes shopping was never your favorite thing with her... but im glad its been a bit better!
Thank you for looking for that advice... i took a lot of little things form everywhere haha... and michael... i think hes just a little racist and intolerant... but that ok. i still love him. :) dont tell him i said that hahaha... your ears only.
Yes, this whole adventure with him has been interesting... i know i just have to do my best to do whats right... and im willing to do that, i will continue to try to make him feel better about himself and make him feel loved.
im totally fine with you talking about Lexa. i am resigned to Gods will. if im supposed to marry her. it will happen, she will be there in a year and things will click, or it wont. and i will find someone else... though i sometimes find my self thinking, though i now i shouldnt... when in the world would it happen, if i get back in july... supposedly she wants to get married in june... hmmm. but that will be interesting, if it even happens! i think what your comment was meant as was like... it has to eaither go one way or the other now, right? we eaither get married, or we separate a lot because we have a really close relationship. i have felt the same. but it doesnt worry me Gladly. that has been a big blessing for me. im not worried about it :) im glad that you have a good relationship with her, and i doubt that that will ever cause problems. you are free to have your own friends :)
i love you mom. thanks for writing me :)
your son, who loves you infinity times infinity times whatever you say ;)
Elder Gold
I know, I know... the whole car/debt thing... BIG SIGH - but it was the right thing, so it will work out. I drive the Mini, Dad drives the burb, Sam drives the truck, and Meg drives the Honda (she named it Henry).
Also, funny story from Emily Simms. She was babysitting her 2 year old niece one day and they were in her bedroom which has posters of all the shows in it. She was looking at the Seven Brides for Seven Brothers poster and wondered who you were. Emily said, "Henry," but the little girl thought she said, "Mommy." So now, every time she sees that poster, she points to you and says, "Mommy!" hahahaha
It is pouring rain outside today. LeAnn and I went for our morning swim, and it's kind of fun to swim in the rain. So far - a good day! This past week has been an adventure as much as every week is an adventure. We recognized that very soon we are going to need another car. Sam has actually been looking for a job on his own - no nagging from us! - and talking about/thinking about what he plans to do when we all return to school NEXT WEEK. So, he will need transportation for his job, Meg will need transportation for her activities and to/from school - she'll have her license in one month if all goes well and she passes her tests (I am not worried... maybe I should be), Dad needs a car to get to/from work, and I need a car to get to/from work. So, we need four vehicles and we only have three... well... had three - now we have four. We started casually looking for a good used car and I just felt an increasing need to get one, like THIS was the right time to do it before all of the students started looking for cars and the selection went to pot. There was a pretty good selection on Craigslist and at dealerships. So, we started looking and researching and test driving. And we bought a 93 Mini Cooper. hahahaha I know, I know. It is way too fun of a car to buy for an additional vehicle, BUT it gets 28 mpg average, it has 107K miles on it, clean interior, sound engine, and we researched it alot and found it to be a very reliable car. It had less miles and better gas mileage than many other more "sensible" cars - by sensible I mean cars that 40+ year old ladies drive (Buicks, Camarys, etc.) - plus it is SUPER fun to drive! hahaha So, there you go. That was our biggest adventure of the week.
We also got our school shopping MOSTLY done. Meg and I actually had a really good experience school shopping this year! In years past she would buy clothes that NEVER were worn or it would just be miserable and frustrating because we/I couldn't find anything she liked. Well, I'm not sure if I've mentioned in the past about this personality typing/energy profiling thing that the Unicorn Sisterhood has jumped into: Dress Your Truth. It's this system that profiles a person's energy based on personality, physical characteristics, the way a person carries themselves, etc. It has been really quite wonderful for me because I have discovered a lot of things that I thought were weaknesses to just be part of my nature and my natural energy. I thought they were weaknesses because I had these traits that weren't like Aunt Cathy or Aunt LeAnn or my mom or other ladies that I knew, so I saw them as weaknesses. Now I see these personality traits as part of my true nature, given to me by God, to be molded and honed and perfected. This system has really helped me be more kind to myself and honor and respect myself as well as others. I can look at other people and respect the good in them without comparing myself and then beating myself up.... most of the time. Still working on that a bit. BUT it's been a really great thing for me personally. Aunt Cathy and Aunt LeAnn have had similar awakenings and have come to love themselves more for who they are and compare/beat themselves up much less. SO the point of all of this is that I have come to understand Meg so much more, too. I recognize that she has a different energy than I do and so her wants and needs are different from mine. So when we went shopping I could honor and respect her desire for simple clothes without a lot of frills, without that "cute" or "stylish" flair that both Janie and I enjoy. And we found lots of things that look really good on her and honor her true nature. In the past, she's purchased things, or rather allowed me to buy things for her, that she didn't really love and so she never wore them which made me feel really frustrated, but she did it in an effort to please me. Now she doesn't have to pretend to like something she hates and I don't have to try to figure her out. So things have been going well for Meg and I lately. hahahaha Yes, part of my nature is to give every ounce of backstory anyone could possibly never want. hahaha Still working on that one!
Also this week I have been thinking about YOU and your current struggles. In your last letter, you invited advice and so I acted on that. I asked Michael about your predicament and he said that Hispanic/Latino males are "a lot like women." He said they get their feelings hurt easily and because they also have a lot of machismo in their culture, they can be pretty stubborn. Michael's advice was just to live through it and/or contact your district leader and/or zone leader and ask for guidance. He said that sometimes going on splits or separating the companionship for a bit can help a lot - that maybe you will both see that your companionship isn't so bad after working with someone else for a while. hahaha I also asked Anna Williams because she came home from her mission on Tuesday (Tauni Ackerman came home Thursday). She said that that is one of the toughest situations, when missionaries just want to "chill" and let the work take a back seat to things. She mentioned how surprising, strange, and frustrating it was to her that other missionaries were often more critical of obedient missionaries than members could be. I think it is because the truth hurts and when you see someone living right - they way you know you should be living - it strikes a cord. Sometimes we respond with admiration, but more often than not we try to find something wrong with them and tear them down so that we don't have to feel that pricking in our hearts that we should step up and stand a little taller. Anyway, she recommended holding strong - don't give in, don't cave, don't conform - and keep trying, keep trying to be unified, to talk to your companion, to make things right. She said, "It takes a strong missionary to do that, but all the missionaries that follow you into that area will thank you."
My guess is that Elder Jimenez does not feel honored or respected in some way. I'm not saying that you don't honor and respect him, only that that is not translating to Elder Jimenez very well. It may be that the source of his silence and aversion is really some sort of discomfort in your relationship, some sense of inadequacy, sense of powerlessness, or a feeling that he can't be his true self. I've been reading this book called The Child Whisperer that is based on the same energy profiling I mentioned earlier. It seeks to help parents understand their children's innate nature and work within it rather than fall into the trap of power struggles. Remember that I have NO CLUE what your interactions are like, so feel free to take or leave whatever you will from this guesstimation. ANYWAY, maybe Elder Jimenez needs help from you to feel honored in some way within your companionship. By honored, I don't mean "bow down and grovel," but that he is validated and valued, that he has a say, that his ideas and needs are just as important as yours are. His withdrawl from you and your companionship may be a sign that he feels alone or that he doesn't have enough of a voice within your companionship. Maybe, if he feels honored and respected, he will open up and communicate with you. Maybe he doesn't feel that he has a voice in the rules/activities within your companionship. Perhaps he doesn't feel like he has a say in what happens within your companionship or in the authority that is exercised over him. Elder Jimenez may feel that he is his own authority, and it bothers him to have someone else come in and start changing things. If he can see the logic behind the changes, he may come to adopt them but it will probably have to be on his terms and be "his idea." If that makes any sense. Maybe, if you notice that he acts like something you do or say is stupid, you could acknowledge it. "You think that is stupid. What don't you like about it?" or "I can see you don't like that. Tell me more about why you don't like that." Then, if Elder Jimenez opens up, you can help him feel honored and respected by asking, "What do you think a solution to this problem is?" Be direct with him. Continue to be honest and sincere. We will continue to be prayerful for you both. Above all: "Do what is right; be faithful and fearless; onward, press onward and do what is right."
I love you, Henry. A lot. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to tell you this, but I had a really great conversation via Facebook messaging with Lexa last night. It was awesome because I felt that a lot of little fears and concerns that have been snagging me in my own personal relationship with her were nipped off and cut away, so our relationship can move forward more smoothly. It's not that we've not had a good relationship, but I've had a few little hangups, little snags, because of past things that have precluded me from fully embracing her. That is largely due to the fact that I've been afraid to really embrace her in a way that might cause awkwardness in some unforseen future event. That was really cryptic. I have felt myself be distant and aloof with her to avoid pain and awkwardness if she were to get married, and not to you. There. Just say it, Camille! Don't speak so much in metaphors! Anyway, since she came back from China, I have felt such a love for her, but I felt worried about expressing that too much. So, last night that worry and fear was all smoothed away. Regardless of what the future brings I feel fully able to just embrace and love that girl, and our relationship is not contingent on you! I can love her because I love her and not because you love her. So that was really great. I hope all of this hasn't dredged up distracting thoughts for you. That was not my intent. I'm not sure what my intent was, only to say that Lexa is awesome and I love her, and I love that she has been a great friend to you, and still is to you... after all that you've been through together. I don't know if that frienship is meant to last in the same way it has, but I am grateful for both of you today. OK. Enough of that.
Back to work, my dearest son, for both of us. I love you more than you will ever know.
Love from Mom
Oh mother, i love you to death :) thank you so much for being exactly who you are because i LOOVEEEEE it. dont have tons of time, my comp just finished so i have like 4 seconds but i will respond better next week because i really liked this eamil. just 1 question and one comment 1. what did that last thing about not having our friendship last in the same way mean... i didnt understand that. second. thanks for the advice, even though sometimes its hard to take when i fell like im already doing it all... but i will do my best to apply it. thanks. i love you.
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