Good morning, dearest one! It is Thanksgiving Week and I am so grateful... for lots of things, of course, but also that it is a short week! hahaha We go to school today and for half a day tomorrow and then we're out for the rest of the week! That will be welcome, especially since Dad and I have been down with a cold/flu that we've been passing around the family this past weekend - missed church yesterday when both of us were supposed to teach classes AND our family was supposed to sing in Sacrament Meeting. Meg was home sick, too. Janie was the only Gold to go to church yesterday. So, I am grateful for the good people who were able to substitute for us yesterday and that I am/we are feeling somewhat better - not sneezing and running from the nose like nobody's business. I am grateful for cold medicine, too so that I can make it through this day. Progress reports are due the day after we get back from the break and so I have got to get these last speeches graded and in the grade book. Gotta be there today if at all possible - it's a blessing that its a short day, two short days this week. Dad has an installation at the plant that he's been preparing for for six months, so he must be at work as well. We are grateful.
Janie leaves today on an adventure with Grandma and Grandpa Dixon. She was invited to go to California to spend Thanksgiving with the Nicholas family, Gracie in particular, since Gma and Gpa Dixon are heading down there for the holiday. What we didn't know is that Gma and Gpa are going on a little bit of an adventure/road trip on their way down to California, so the trip that would normally take one day is going to take two days. They are going to several different sites along the way and staying in a hotel tonight. Quality time with Gma and Gpa! I think she will have a fun time. Janie is pretty awesome.
Meg has done really well in basketball this past week. She really is so fun to watch because she is super expressive - you pretty much know how she feels about things by her walk, facial expressions, and the way she plays. She's also fun to watch because she's so passionate about the game. She loves to make plays, to make it happen, ya know? And she's a pretty adventurous shooter - she's made several 3 pointers during games. I know, right? Last year she would shoot them, but didn't even hit the rim. Now, she shoots them, and doesn't always sink them, but she almost always hits the rim with her 3 point shots. I guess a few inches, more strength, and confidence have helped a lot (she's taller than me now). Anyway, they lost to Hillcrest by three points last week - it was a good game, a nail-biter, but things just weren't going our way... we'll be more ready for them next time. And we beat Skyline by 20+ points. Meg loves basketball, but she knows it is a temporary thing - basketball is NOT her life or her life ambition - so she's in it to have fun, for love of the game, not for any hope of a scholarship or playing in college.... Intrinsically motivated. So that is good.
Sam is doing well. I think. We are still learning, everyday, with him. I think we are in a place of recovery right now, a period between psychotic episodes, and that is good. The difficult thing is knowing... knowing that he WILL have another psychotic break sometime in the future. It's not an "if" it's a "when." That is hard to drink in because now, after two years, we're finally coming to place where we can live with relative stability. Sam isn't nearly as depressed as he has been in the past. He is still not motivated by anything except his desire to play video games at the moment, which can be super annoying, BUT he is getting up earlier in the day. He wakes up consistently between 9-10 which is a far cry better than when he would pull himself out of bed between 2-4 each day. This must just sound so crazy to you, right? Sleeping in for so long? It is to us, too, believe me, but we've come to terms with it as part of his illness. It's a strange beast, schizo-affective disorder. And he knows... he knows that he is different. When people ask him what he is up to, he is honest with them and tells them he is just at home playing video games. He knows it is a crappy existence, but he also knows that it is all he can do right now, to get up each day and live with us and do the things we ask him to do. A job, college, moving forward as most people his age are doing/preparing to do... it's just not in the cards for him right now. I can't explain it, really. Writing it down sounds so stupid, actually. "All he can do is get up and play video games? Really? That's all?" And believe me, I have that thought zip through my mind nearly every day. That thought crosses through Meg's mind everyday, too, but she is growing more resentful of Sam - less patient, more frustrated. It's not easy living with him at times, sad to say. Dad and I finished our "Family-to-Family" class, and already I want to go back and read through the information again. There is just so much to learn and understand about mental illness, and about living with someone with mental illness. I mean, Sam has some strange ideas. For example, he has been REALLY into oragami lately. Folds all kinds of paper things for us. Trina graduated from Massage Therapy School last week, and he gave her one of his creations made from scrap paper... scrap paper that had pictures of zombie Halloween makeup ideas. He was so excited about his creation and it was thoughtful of him to give it to her, but that is really something you might see a 10 year old do, not a nearly 18 year old... right? And this weekend he wanted to find some leather gloves to wear. I wondered if they were for driving in the cold or for being outside, but he just wants to wear them, like all the time, during the day. Some thin, "casual," leather gloves for men... like Mr. Darcy might wear in Pride and Prejudice. Luckily, I mean, sadly, all of the leather-ish driving gloves we found were too thick for his liking, so he wasn't able to get any because he just wanted thin leather gloves to wear, casually, around the house and stuff. It's a strange, strange beast, this mental illness, but Sam is a dear... mostly. :) I wonder, as I think about his behaviors this past week, if he is going through a sort of hypomanic episode right now, actually.... hmmmmm.
OK - so enough of that. We're excited to hear about your week and all that has been going on in your life. You are a great example to all of us, but especially to Meg right now. I think, in her frustration with Sam, she looks to you even more as a rock and pillar. So, no pressure, eh? hahaha But thank you for doing your best in all that you do - it means a lot to us. And we can see the evidence of blessings as a result of your service, my dear son. Thank you for that. We are grateful for you. :)
Love you much! Talk to you next week.
Love from Mom
PS - I took my drama students on a field trip to BYU-I last week - 32 kids went with us to see a musical, "Lucky Stiff," and get a backstage tour of the facilities. It was pretty awesome! Two students didn't show (we were supposed to have 34 students, but only 32 showed up) and so, on a whim, we called Lexa and invited her to come along. She brought her roommate, Dana. It was really fun to sit with them and to enjoy the show. Lexa seems to be doing great with her ankle - getting around like a pro! I'm so glad for her! She has great people around her, roommates and FHE family members, to help her. It is true that the Lord will not ask us to do things without preparing a way for them to be accomplished. These people have been put into her life to help her at this time, and I'm so glad of that! Anyway, it was really fun to see her and to see that she is doing so well!
November 17, 2014
Well it is freezing cold up here, my friend! We've got snow on the ground and below zero temperatures. Yikes! I uploaded a couple of pictures in the One Drive. It's so beautiful, but very, very cold! hahahaha Yesterday, Bryon and Clarke Huntsman were our speakers in Sacrament Meeting. They both did an excellent job. Bryon talked about a professor he had at Ricks College back in the day who gave his students a lecture - like a "you're being chewed out a little bit" lecture - around this time of year, Thanksgiving season. He talked about how this professor taught them how to be thankful for those things that we usually whine about: the cold kills parasites and bacteria and fungi and allows our soil to be healthy; the wind clears the air and allows us to have beautiful blue skies with clean air to breathe; the snow creates a beautiful and silent blanket over the earth - it perpetuates a silence that is unheard of in other places. It was a good reminder for all of us as we were shivering in the car on the very SHORT drive to church. We really do live in a blessed place, I think. As I was driving to school this morning, the sky was pink and ground was covered in that silent blanket of white, the trees were covered in hoar frost and the river was steaming (it was -2 degrees)... it was so, so beautiful and I felt so grateful to be part of it this morning.
And now.... it's time for your SPORTS UPDATE! So Meg had her first basketball game on Thursday and they did really well! They beat Rigby (I can't remember the score off the top of my head... woops) and Meg played a great game - scored 8 points, shot 2-3 3-pointers which hit the board or rim, but didn't sink. Still, she's a threat outside. She is a lot of fun to watch. So the Freshman and JV won, but the Varsity lost. Rigby was a dang tough team, and, sadly, our girls were pretty tight... but they'll figure it out. They play Hillcrest on Wednesday and Skyline on Friday. The football team has officially been dethroned. They lost to Snake River 28 to 14 in the semi-finals. They did NOT play well and Snake River had a great game - our boys just seemed tight... like they were trying to force everything. Even the student section felt forced - there was no joy in it, ya know? One kid, John Mecham, a senior, went running up and down the aisles where all the parents were sitting and started yelling at us: "C'mon! Cheer! You've got to be kidding me! You give no support! NO support at all!" So 2/3 of the City of Shelley is in the stands and we give no support? Me being me, I stood up and told him, "John! We're HERE! Go sit down!" And he did. I don't know why I feel so compelled to stand and stop the tension in situations like that. I've done that at basketball games, much to my children's chagrin. When Shelley fans and other fans [Sugar] start shouting at each other I feel utterly compelled to say or do something to stop the tension. I've yelled, "C'mon guys, it's Christmas!" or "Let's all just cheer for our girls!" I don't stand up every time, but I do shout... it's embarrassing, but I don't know if I can stop. Ya know?
So the play went really well! We had a great turnout, which was miraculous because, as I said last week, I had done very little advertising. We made a solid amount of money and so we're ready to move forward with the musical. Also, I feel that Heavenly Father directed me to a possible solution to our online ticketing dilema - I'm so grateful! PayPal was just NOT working out for us! So we may be able to offer online ticket payments and reserved seating, which would be super great - no more anxiety for me when there are lines of people and I fear that the grandma from Salt Lake won't be able to get in to see little Johnny on stage, ya know? It is so true, that He cares about all elements of our lives. Even online ticketing. I feel confident that it is going to work and that we're going to be able to move forward... super grateful.
Now that the play is over, I have felt a little lost. hahaha That always happens - that transition time going from 100% active movement to... a different pace. Thursday afternoon was the first time I had been home before 6:30 pm in about 2 months. I walked in the door at 4pm and just kind of... stood there. I did NOT know what to do with myself. I was utterly perplexed! hahaha There were plenty of things to do, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it! I was glad that Meg's first game was that night, so I had something to put an end to that wide open ocean of "free time." I adjusted much better on Friday and I am now looking forward to being home in the early afternoons this week. I like making dinner! I miss doing that! hahaha I have plenty to do at home, but it did take me a few days to get my feet under me again. hahaha
I love you like crazy, my dear boy. We are counting down the days... I think it's like 38 days until we Skype! Yay! I know that the time will fly for all of us, especially for you because you are incredibly busy these days! I am grateful that you are blessed with a good companion who is able to work with you and support you in your efforts. I love you so much.
OK. I have to say something. I have debated saying it for a few weeks now... Elder Gines, being from Idaho, might have a mom who has looked on Pinterest and sent him all kinds of cute little Christmas mission things. There are lots of missionary moms who are talking about the advent calendars they sent their missionaries... something to open each day in December... etc. Sadly, you did not get anything like that. I'm sure you're going to survive without a December advent calendar thingy and that you probably don't care all that much, but I just want you to know that I AM sorry if the lack of that sort of thing makes you feel a little sad or overlooked or disappointed. It is a neurotic thing with me handed down from my mother that I am trying to figure out so I don't hand it down to my own daughters, I know, I know... But just like my compulsion to say something when there is contention at a ball game, I feel compelled to apologize for not being a super missionary mom.... IF that sort of thing makes you feel special and loved. You ARE special and you ARE loved... but I didn't send a cute little thingy to show it. So - FOR THE LAST TIME - I'm sorry if you feel bad about that.
Alright. I'm done. The poison is out. Thanks for listening to that tirade. You I love, my dear.
Mom
Mother :) i love you lots :) in the past have cute christmasy mission things been important to me? i am more than content recieving things form you, especially pics. i dont care about the other crap. there are so many missionaries who get ots of random junk. I prefer things that i am going to use or eat. random holiday stuff is not part of the mission for me, just a waste of space and money. so, dont worry. plus i wont be with Elder Gines for christmas probably, there is a chance but im pretty sure we wont.
this is a story just for you guys so im witing it here not in the big email but you definately helped me out a lot this week. ME and Elder Gines get a long really well, but the annoyance levels were rising slowly but surely... so we had an companionship inventory on thursday during planning, something we always do, its just to help us be better in everything. but this week we started talking about our relationship and it was awesome to be able to use all of the communicating skills that you had taught me and we got it all figured out and now we are doing way better! just happy! so thanks! love you guys!
November 10, 2014
You've done it now! Two decades, my friend. You're so..... old. hahahaha Happy, happy birthday, my darling! I hope it was fun! Next year, we'll get to watch you blow out candles as you become, officially, an man of age - a legal adult in all ways.
Housekeeping stuff to get out of the way: 1) You have a new debit card here - we are sending it with your Christmas gift. Is that going to screw things up for you? We'll send your PIN (when we get it) in another parcel. If you don't get them, let us know ASAP! :) We're a little tardy sending your Christmas gifts, but I'm hoping your closer proximity to Antofagasta will mean that you get them by Christmas at least and not Valentine's Day! 2) How do your pants fit these days? Are you still the same size? Have you grown up (or out) at all? 3) In your spare time (hahaha) you may need to start thinking about the future, specifically school. I am going to be calling down to Provo later this week - once the play is over - to get information about how/when we need to get you registered for school at BYU-Provo. I know it's not what you want to think about right now - your thoughts and energies are rightfully elsewhere - but if you are planning to go down to school 6 weeks (one transfer) after you get home from the mission, then we're going to have to discuss it in the coming months. I know that I am going to be a nut case from mid-January to April, so I'd like to get a jump on it, if you know what I mean. hahaha I will let you know next week what I find out about admission dates and deadlines - just file this away in the back of your mind, let it marinate, and gird your loins for when we have to discuss it. :D 4) Do you have any other needs/requests for things to be sent to you from the Motherland? As I said, we're sending stuff this week - today or tomorrow, actually - so it's not too late to make a final request or two... or three... or four. :)
OK - now that that is out of the way.... How has your week been? We're excited to hear all about it. I hope things are continuing to go well with Carolina and the others who are investigating the gospel. And I hope that things are still going well with you and Elder Gines. He seems like a great guy! I love that you've had companions from Idaho, ya know? I mean, you might actually get to see them again post mission! That is awesome, I think. OH, and your mission president, too! Very cool.
Things at home are moving along like a rushing river that is eager to get to the sea...as always. The play ends tomorrow night (more on that in a minute), and Meg has a "jamboree" exhibition game THE NEXT DAY! Her first official game is Friday night at home against Rigby. Should be interesting! Oh, yeah! Meg made the JV basketball team! hahaha She is enjoying it so far. There were two juniors on the JV team but one of them quit (so much drama from that Junior class - ugh. It's been a tough week for the coaches, but we're not going to get into all that), so now there is just one junior on the JV team AND one Freshman... who consequently is her little sister. Girls sports! Wow! Anyway, what that means is that Kylee Ball (the lone Junior) will float between JV and Varsity - three quarters with JV and 1 quarter with Varsity, so Meg will be playing point guard but will probably not start the games. She is totally OK with that, so we are too. :) Anyway, here we go! Another sport season! hahaha
Janie has done really well with the play. She is such a little stress bucket! After EVERY rehearsal and now performance, she grills me about how she can improve, what she needs to do better, and then rehashes any little mistake she may have made - or thinks she made... I keep telling her to chill out and enjoy the moment! She knows her lines, her blocking, and has a good grasp of the character, so just let it flow! hahahaha 
As I've mentioned before, half of the cast is made up of Freshman and most of them have never been in a play before, but they do a great job! It's a little tough for me to see what COULD HAVE BEEN in terms of line delivery, characterization, or humor overall if they had a little more confidence and/or experience, ya know? But they do a good job, truly. 
We've had really great crowds, which is truly a blessing from Heaven above because I have done almost ZERO advertising! hahaha So the play ends tomorrow night and then we have just two and a half months before auditions for Sound of Music. That is going to be intense. Awesome, but intense. I think we may have sell-out crowds that compete with the success of "Jospeh" to be honest! So I am eagerly and zealously trying to find a way to set up online reserved ticketing to help alleviate the heartache and guilt I feel when I have to turn people away (I know it's not my fault, but still).
Sam is doing well. I've hardly seen him this past week, what with dress rehearsals and all. Sadly, we've got some rocky waters with Sam and Meg's relationship. Sam is oblivious, but Meg is really struggling with Sam right now. She compensates by being gone as much as possible with friends and activities or she hangs out in her room. So we're looking into an avenue where she can vocalize her feelings and have them validated and hopefully move forward. Mostly, her struggle stems from her knowing and seeing Sam's arrested development - she sees that she is more mature than he is - and his lack of respect for her. It's not really a lack of respect so much as he doesn't acknowledge her as... well.... he still considers himself to be "above" her in intelligence, skill, ability... in most ways, actually, largely because he is older than she is. Yet, she sees his arrested development (thank you schizo-affective disorder) and sees herself as "above" him in many ways, yet he won't acknoweldge that and treats her like a little kid. It's all kinds of drama, but it's a real problem. Pray for us.
Sam and Parker Tomlinson are growing more and more similar... mostly in a physical sense. hahaha Parker has been struggling a lot since Braden left for his mission. I was one of his advisors for his senior project, which was "making friends." He's really tried to make friends, but those nuances are a little beyond him. Still, he's been trying. He invited Meg to go to the movies with him on Saturday, so she picked him up and they went to the show. It was really fun to see - she is a great girl, that Meg. YOU ALL are wonderful people, and it has been my privilege to be your mom and get to learn and grow with you all. Even Sam - who can be a trial at times - is so great. True, there are a lot of things he doesn't do that he should, but there are hundreds more things that he doesn't do that most in his situation do. So we're grateful for him and for how he tries to do what is required of him. And Janie is just a peach - she is a sassy, tangy peach, but a peach all the same! She amazes me... such a social butterfly. She has a lot of friends! Good friends, too! We had a fun time together on Tuesday at her birthday lunch and shopping trip (we both took half a day from school - it was super fun).
OK, I'm starting to ramble, must be time to close. I love you, my dearest 20 year old son! You are always in our thoughts and prayers! We're counting down the days until we get to talk to you in real time! CHRISTMAS!
You I love!
Mom
PS - I visted Lexa this week - actually Janie and I stopped to see her on Tuesday on the way back from our lunch date - and she is doing well. Her spirits are up, but she knows she has a hard road ahead. She went back to Rexburg on Saturday so she could take a couple of midterms, which she aced. Not a shocker. So today will be her first day on campus as a cripple. Say a prayer for her! Especially because we have some Arctic air coming in this week - tomorrow it's supposed to be a high of 10-15 degrees! Yikes!
November 2, 2014 Dia de la Muerta
The subject line has no bearing on anything - it's just that, in Mexican culture, today is Dia de la Muerta. hahaha Is it just Mexican culture, or Latin culture as well? Do they celebrate Dia de la Muerta in Chile as well?
Good morning, my darling! I have missed sending you letters twice this past month! gah! So, I'm gonna get a jump on it today!
The state tournament was a fun time. I posted the pictures, but there was no letter to go with it, sadly. I'm sure Dad told you that they took third and it was all kinds of awesome. It was a fight! The team they played for third had been state champions for two years running and when they were down 2-0 at the half, they were down and dirty for the second half of the game. Meg took a knee to the head AFTER the ball was out of bounds - no yellow card; girls were getting shoved and knocked down after the play was over (on both sides) - no yellow card... it was rough! But it made the win all the sweeter! Meg was named "Player of the Game" with Kira Marlow. It was super great! AND it was fun to be all together.
Our lives are so busy and with everyone getting older and more involved with friends and activities - it's becoming a greater challenge to find family time together - just us, ya know? So I was very grateful that we had that time in Twin Falls. Grandma Price stayed with us, and that was a lot of fun, too. She took us to the house in Twin Falls where my family lived when I was born until I was 2 years old. That was really fun, too!
We had a fun Halloween - it was a busy day, as are they all. I went to school dressed all in gold.... Mrs. Gold. It was fun. Then, we had a failed fundraiser after school - face painting for trick or treaters. I think we had 5 people show up. hahaha So, guess we won't do THAT again! YouTube makes it possible for people to do their own fabulous makeups, so... yeah. We'll try something else, I guess! Anyway, after the fundraiser fail, we came home and got our treats ready for the Price Family Halloween Party. That was a good time, as it always is: dance competitions, games, way too much food, and moderately scary movies. Because Halloween was on a Friday, we had a sleep over at Boyd and LeAnn's house afterward. So we stayed up late and slept in - that was fun. Dad and Sam went hunting with Uncle Sean, Zaine, and Grandpa Dixon, so they weren't there for the festivities. We missed them.
I'm sure Dad will tell you more about the hunt, but they didn't get the elk they were hunting for - just a couple of sage grouse. Still, it was a nice time for them. Sam struggled a bit with the schedule - his medications make it pretty difficult for him to be up early, but Dad said he was a trooper on that first day, Friday. However, there was a cost involved: his over-tiredness plus the physical exertion stressed his mind/body and his symptoms got stronger. He was hallucinating quite a bit, which can only be so incredibly disconcerting! So he didn't go on the Saturday hunt - he stayed and slept in camp, which was good, I think. He said he had a good time, but probably won't go hunting again. Still, I'm glad they went and had that time together.
Yesterday, Janie had a pre-birthday party with her friends. She is going to be 15 this week, which means that YOU are going to be 20! Whoot! Happiest of birthdays, my love! I've been thinking about you so much lately for lots of reasons. While Janie was hanging with her friends, I took some time and updated your blog with your pictures and video clips. Your homemade candles were pretty awesome, my friend! I love your video clips - it's so great to hear your voice! You look good and sound good and I'm so, so glad!
Another reason I have been thinking about you is because your dear friend, Lexa, crashed while going down a super slide in Swan Valley with some friends on Halloween, broke her ankle in three places, and had surgery yesterday! Twelve screws and I think a metal plate to put her back together again! Two scars, one on each side of the ankle, and quite a large one on the outside of her leg. No weight on it for 6-8 weeks - sound famililar?
Another reason I have been thinking about you is because your dear friend, Lexa, crashed while going down a super slide in Swan Valley with some friends on Halloween, broke her ankle in three places, and had surgery yesterday! Twelve screws and I think a metal plate to put her back together again! Two scars, one on each side of the ankle, and quite a large one on the outside of her leg. No weight on it for 6-8 weeks - sound famililar?
The truly gross thing about this picture is that she is lying on her back.... yeah. It's so wrong. (this picture was from her Dad)
GOOD NEWS! Sarah Roy is engaged! His name is Evan Johnson, and it is official. I'm so, so happy for her! MORE good news - the play starts this week! Yay! I always love to see it come and then to see it go. hahaha Seriously, I don't know how many more years I can do this. It takes a lot out of me, ya know? I am going to hold on until Janie is out of high school and then we will see what/where Heavenly Father wants me to go and do. I still feel that I am doing the right things - teaching and directing - so I am comforted with that, but I am also just tired. Ya know? I would like to leave the drama program to someone else when I am still at the top of my game, when things are still good and it is successful rather than leaving it as I found it - struggling to stay alive. But, that is a bridge to be crossed in years to come, so the best thing to do now is to move forward and do my best - rely on my Father in Heaven to lead me and to guide me in my efforts. I have to remember that things occur line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. When I am in the thick of it, it doesn't seem like I am making any progress at all, but looking back, I can see that I am growing, expanding, strengthening... bit by bit. I am so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father, for His incomprehensible patience, long-suffering, and love for me. I am so, so grateful.
Have a wonderful birthday on Saturday, my dear one. I love you so much. I am so grateful that you came into our lives twenty years ago, that you chose us to be your parents. I am so grateful for the man you have become and are becoming. I am grateful for what you teach me in your words and actions. I love you so very much. Next year, when you're home for your birthday, we'll have a pinata.
OK. So, I love you and I hope you have a great week. I hope things will continue to progress with Carolina - she sounds like a lovely person. We are praying for you, your companion, and for all those you are working with and will work with in days/weeks/months to come.
You I love.
Mom
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